Atlanta Braves vs. Washington Nationals – Box Score – March 31, 2011 – ESPN.

So it’s Opening Day. And it’s a Thursday. Why? Because, that’s why.

Disturbing. Hicks probably won’t cost the Braves anything, as the offensive difference between Diory Hernandez‘s zero and his less-than-zero should be pretty minor as long as AAG stays healthy. It’s rather what Hicks represents — that the current incarnation of the Braves brain trust, or Fredi Gonzalez alone, likes punchless gloves rather that guys who can actually help win ballgames.

An odd assortment of strengths and weaknesses. I’d rather have that than a bench player who’s mediocre at everything.

The primary beneficiary of Joe Mather playing himself off the team. Conrad got by far the most major league playing time of his career last year, mostly as a pinch-hitter. He played in 103 games, entering 58 of them as a pinch-hitter and starting just 26 (mostly late in the year). Unfortunately, he showed why he was a pinch-hitter late in the season, when the injury to Martin Prado (after the injury to Chipper Jones) forced him into the lineup. Conrad’s defensive butchery included not just errors but poor range. According to WAR, if you believe in such things, about half of his rather impressive offense was wiped out by defensive problems, and that doesn’t include his error-filled playoffs.

Just pitched so damned well that the Braves put him in the rotation over Mike Minor, even though Minor also pitched well. So I look pretty stupid.

Our 2011 Braves Journal Whipping Boy will be — to start with — Alex Gonzalez! No, not Alex Gonzalez, Alex Gonzalez!

• Brooks Conrad probably doesn’t have a place on the team. This isn’t due to what happened in the playoffs, but due to him being a guy who can’t play short or center. He’s basically competing for one spot with Joe Mather, and the Braves have been after Mather for years. Neither is really very good.
• Brandon Beachy could walk across Lake Okeechobee and he wouldn’t have a place in the rotation unless someone got hurt or Minor completely blew. There’s no competition here.
• None of the various candidates for backup centerfield duties can really play the position with the possible exception of Schafer. Therefore, not being able to play center may not actually keep Wilkin Ramirez from being the backup there. He can’t be worse than Melky, anyway.

I don’t normally profile the manager, but normally the manager has been the same guy every year. Hence, the new guy:

FlaBravesFan supplies the picture, you supply the caption:

If anything happens to Brian McCann or David Ross, it would seem that J. C. Boscan has replaced Clint Sammons (no longer in the organization) as the guy they’ll call up. Nothing better happen to them. Boscan, proof that not every player who comes out of Venezuela is good, can’t hit; his minor league career line is .227/.316/.313 and there are no sample-size issues there; it’s over 14 seasons, mostly in the Braves’ organization. He has a good defensive reputation, which is just another way of saying he can’t hit. He got into a major league game last season, which is nice, and walked and scored.

The last spot on the roster will, presumably, go to somebody who can play centerfield. I suppose it’s possible that the Braves would go into the season with nobody on the roster to back up Nate McLouth except Joe Mather, but this would be a strange thing to do since (a) McLouth isn’t any good, or at least wasn’t last year; (b) Mather hasn’t hit at all in the majors; (c) Mather has played little center and is not particularly a centerfield “type” physically; and (d) it’s not like there’s any particular reason to get Brooks Conrad or Brandon Hicks on the roster.