For most of his career, Gonzalez has been most notable because there was another player, also named Alex Gonzalez, also a shortstop, with similar skills and limitations. It was all very confusing. When this sort of thing happened in the eighties, one of the centerfielders named Willie Wilson selflessly allowed himself to be known as “Mookie”, but neither of these guys would do us the favor. This Alex Gonzalez’s middle name is “Luis”, so that won’t work either. He is four years younger than and came up three years after the other Alex Gonzalez, who retired… uh… three years ago.

Reports are surfacing that the Braves have traded the currently disappointing Yunel Escobar and the perpetually disappointing Jo-Jo Reyes to Toronto for Alex Gonzalez and two minor leaguers. Gonzalez is 33 years old and has some pop (17 homers this year, 131 in his career) but is not nearly the defensive player he once was or Yunel still is, and has a .294 career OBP, .296 this year, because he is a low-average hitter who doesn’t walk. Updates to come.

Through techniques I am, unfortunately, unable to divulge, I have been able to contact a prominent American League owner who is, unfortunately, recently deceased. He was very concerned with the American League’s performance in the All-Star Game and wanted to get some things off his, alas, now incorporeal chest.

Just looking around at the Braves’ drafts from the 1990s again. (Not counting 1990, when Bobby was GM and they drafted Chipper first overall.) Lord, are they awful. At least at the top — they did okay in the later rounds. This is what happens when you draft a high school pitcher from the southeast with your first pick every year. Were they using Matt Millen as a consultant? Anyway, the all-drafted-by-the-Braves 1991-2000 team, with rounds, including only players the team actually signed:

Atlanta Braves vs. New York Mets – Box Score – July 11, 2010 – ESPN.

“So, Mac,” people ask me, “Why don’t you like to fly?” Well, I’m just afraid that Jeff Francoeur is moonlighting as an aeronautical engineer. I think that the following footage demonstrates what could happen.

Atlanta Braves vs. New York Mets – Box Score – July 10, 2010 – ESPN.

Living as I do in a southern college town, virtually every day I run across stereotypically effete British intellectuals. Often, they ask, “So, Mac, old bean, what about this Francoeur chap you’re always talking about? What if he somehow became Oxford Professor of Modern Poetry? How would that all work out?”

Atlanta Braves vs. New York Mets – Box Score – July 09, 2010 – ESPN.

New York City (motto: “Hey, I’m From New York!”) is the largest city in the United States, a bustling metropolitan area of eight million souls, and more than twice that number of actual people. While all New Yorkers are united in their desire to tell everyone that they are from New York, they may for simplicity’s sake be divided into two groups: People from the outer boroughs who want to become successful enough to get a place in Manhattan, and people in Manhattan who want to become successful enough to get a place out somewhere nice. This being said, New York is home to people from cultures all over the world, and also actual space aliens, who landed in Central Park in 2005 and are still waiting to see the Mayor. New York is the home of the United Nations, where diplomats of all nations come together to park wherever the hell they want to. New York has many nicknames, including “The Big Apple” (the result of an ill-advised sponsorship agreement with the computer manufacturer), “The Naked City” (New York insists that the incident has been expunged from its record) and “The City That Never Sleeps” (but New York says that its doctor will get the dosage right any day now).

Atlanta Braves vs. Philadelphia Phillies – Box Score – July 07, 2010 – ESPN.

Jamie Moyer made his major league debut when Kris Medlen was nine months old.

Atlanta Braves vs. Philadelphia Phillies – Box Score – July 06, 2010 – ESPN.

I think Omar Infante is great, but I’m pretty sure that the creators of the All-Star Game didn’t intend for there to be a “utility player” spot.

Atlanta Braves vs. Philadelphia Phillies – Box Score – July 05, 2010 – ESPN.

Philadelphia, known as “The City of Brotherly Love” ever since Benjamin Franklin invented sarcasm in 1767, is the largest city in Pennsylvania and a suburb of New York. Philadelphia was founded by Quakers, who have to still be wondering what happened. The city was the site of the writing of the United States Constitution and the nation’s capital from 1790 to 1800. Pennsylvanians were hoping that the country would never get around to actually building Washington DC and the capital would remain in their state. Things in Philadelphia have consistently gone downhill since 1800.

Florida Marlins vs. Atlanta Braves – Box Score – July 04, 2010 – ESPN.

Hey, how do they celebrate the Fourth of July in Venezuela?

Florida Marlins vs. Atlanta Braves – Box Score – July 03, 2010 – ESPN.

Note: Melky hit .296 in interleague games this year, but is hitting just .257 overall. Suck it, AL.

Florida Marlins vs. Atlanta Braves – Box Score – July 02, 2010 – ESPN.

The Peachtree games aren’t in high def where I am, so if I watch on my main TV I have to change the settings or everything’s all stretched and all the players look as fat as Melky. I can also watch on my old TV in the other room. I realize this is endlessly fascinating, but which feels luckier?