Archive for June, 2009
June almost over game thread: June 30, Phillies at Braves
“Hi, I’m Atlanta Braves outfielder Jeff Francoeur. I’m here to chew bubblegum and make outs, and I’m all out of bubblegum.”
Clinically depressed game thread: June 28, Red Sox at Losers
“Hola, this is Braves starting pitcher Javier Vazquez, and I’m wondering: Do I have to do everything around here?”
Whee, Fox game thread: June 27, Red Sox at Braves
“Hi, I’m –SIGH– Angels — uh, Braves outfielder –YAWN– Garret Anderson, and… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ………
Great, these guys game thread: June 26, Red Sox at Braves
Hello, this is the production staff of Peachtree TV. We will have a replay for you shortly.
Sorry, our replay has been delayed. Joe Simpson will entertain you with his “Grumpy Old Man” routine while we scroll up the replay.
Read the rest of this entry »How are we going to get the smell of brimstone out game thread: June 25, Yankees at Braves
“Hi, I’m Atlanta Braves infielder Martin Prado. People ask me, ‘Martin, what’s it like to get stuck on the bench, for defensive reasons no less, behind a converted outfielder?’ Well, how should I put it… Eszik saját kesztyű, Kelly Johnson! Én szakmai második baseman, és nem lehet megtagadni! Thank you and good day.
Pure Evil still in town game thread: June 24, Yankees at Braves
“Hi, I’m Atlanta Braves outfielder Jeff Francoeur, and I suck.”
Pure Evil comes to town game thread: June 23, Yankees at Braves
“Hi, I’m Braves pitcher Kris Medlen. It has come to my attention that some people think I look like I’m twelve years old. I have only one response: MOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!”
Make-up game thread: June 22, Cubs at Braves
“Hi, I’m Atlanta Braves outfielder Matt Diaz. Some people ask me, ‘Matt, does it upset you that you hardly ever get to start except against lefthanders, even though Jeff Francoeur sucks?’ No, I think it’s great! I get plenty of time to catch up on emails, do a little reading. Dave Ross and me usually play Scrabble in the dugout. Okay, sometimes it’s annoying to get interrupted so I can pinch-hit with two out and nobody on down three runs, but it doesn’t take too long. We asked Martin Prado if he wants in, but he’s busy teaching himself Hungarian.”
Just a reminder game thread: June 21, Braves at Red Sox
Francoeur sucks.
Oh, what’s the point game thread: June 18, Braves at Reds
If Garret Anderson were a band, he would be Phil Collins-era Genesis.
Young Master Francoeur game thread: June 17, Braves at Reds
If Chipper were a band, he would be the Kinks.
Weren’t we already in Cincinnati? game thread: June 16, Braves at Reds
Also, I have done some research and have determined that if Jeff Francoeur were a band, he would be the Bay City Rollers. Normally you would expect a Bay City Rollers video here, but get real. Cincinnati is easy.
Read the rest of this entry »Barbaro Canizares
A great big righthanded hitter (listed at 240 lbs., and looks it) who was born to DH, but signed with the wrong league. Canizares defected in 2006 and hasn’t done anything since but hit the baseball, putting up a career minor league line of .318/.376/.461. He’s listed at 29, but who knows how accurate that is; if it’s true, he was playing at the top level in Cuba when he was 18. It’s not impossible.
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